I’ve asked most of my friends about my worst personality traits. I’ve realised in the past 2 weeks that there are glaring, terrible flaws in my personality that turns people away.

Here’s a list of things my friends have told me:

• Bad self-esteem. (SEVERAL people.)
• I can’t stand being wrong/losing. (2 people.)
• I change too much to accomodate others. (4 people.)
• [Addendum to previous] sometimes I try to change to suit others, but I get it wrong. (2 people.)
• I’m too passive. (1 person.)
• I play too much Starcraft and I don’t study enough (1 person.)
• I value affection and relationships too much. (2 person.)
• [Addendum to previous] 4 people have told me that I’m not emotionally ready for a relationship.
• I BM too much. (1 person)
• I get upset over little things (1 person)

So it’s pretty simple; here’s my plan.

I’ll find self-esteem by being really successful in something, probably Starcraft, and then school. I’ll get over my ego by losing a bunch of games and admitting when I’m wrong. (I usually do, but I do it with an ego, so I’ll change the way I do it.) Once I find self-esteem, then being non-passive will just come along naturally.

I’ll stop pandering to other people’s ideas, and be myself.
My friend, once asked me, “Can people truly change?”, to which I replied, of course people can change. He followed up with, “If people change, what does it mean to “be yourself”?”. Which made sense to me, since how can people truly be themselves, if the self is changing? I still don’t have an answer for myself, but I’ll make more of an effort NOT to cater to people.

Concerning Starcraft, it’s too true. My personality gets addicted VERY easily, I get addicted to everything, food, games, music, and even especially people.Just stop playing so damn much. Herp derp.

The next part is simple too. Jesus fucking christ, my feelings hurt. Wallet too. X:
Currently, am super single, and if I just stop liking people, everything gets resolved.
(and nyan girl probably doesn’t like me back anyways. ;_____;)

The BM thing is tough, it’ll probably be the toughest part on the list, because almost everyone around me thinks I’m “cute”, “adorable”, and “innocent”. I’m actually a very bitter, resentful, and foul person, and the only output I have for my frustration is against other internet smurfs. I’m smart and ethical enough to discern bad people from good people, so I limit my anger to other evil people, but something about it still feels wrong. This is the hardest thing to explain, but I’ve always been a big supporter of bad things happening to bad people. I’m like Ozymandias or Batman.

I honestly feel like the upset thing is total ducking bullshit. I put up with a lot of crap. It takes a lot to push me over the edge or very specific things, like challenging my credibility, accomplishments, or values.

tl;dr, am making effort to improve myself.